Various Happenings

I have been so busy the last week. I will try to update.

1). We started soccer this past week. Todd loves it because he is crazy about running. He says he wants to be a runner when he grows up. Let me just say, he DID NOT get that from me. I hate running. Walking, swimming, lifting weights.. those I like. Never would I choose to run. Anyway, he loves it and it is church based so it is not as competitive. It is also much shorter seasons and games than T-ball.

2). I had a 12 week appointment yesterday. Went in thinking quick and left 2 hours later. They went to listen to the heartbeat and could not find it. Yes, you read that right. They poked and pushed and could not get it. Also, my blood pressure was up a lot. Mine is usually on the verge of too low. See next point to see why it was high. Anyway, after much poking, they told me they could not get it and I would have to have an ultrasound. This time they sent me downstairs, which is the high risk doctors office. Surprisingly, I stayed calm. I filled all of their paperwork out and waited. Keep in mind, I was alone because Brad can't take off once a month for an appointment that should take 5 minutes. After what seemed like an hour, they called me back. They got their "big dog ultrasound equipment" out. I was watching and got nervous because I did not see the "flutter of the heart". Finally, I asked her if their was a heartbeat. She said their was and it looked great. But, let me just say, it was moving like crazy. Oh, great Todd is active enough. This will probably be constantly on the move! All checked out fine. They were having trouble because my placenta was in the front, which is fine. This makes them pick up my heartbeat instead of baby's. What a relief!!!

3). Now the explanation on the blood pressure. I cannot give any details, but work has been stressful! There has been a lot of things going on that is wearing me out. Please keep me in your prayers. This has been the most stress my job has EVER given me and I have dealt with a lot. Just keep me in your prayers!

4). Still sick as a dog from pregnancy! I am hoping it ends soon. I am 13 weeks tomorrow!!! This has got to end!

Well, that about wraps it up. Maybe I can get less busy and not have to write a marathon blog to catch people up!

Prayer

Many of my high school friends will remember Eddie Carson. He graduated 2 years before we did and was very close to my family. He spent a lot of time with them. My husband and brother are in a fantasy football leage that began in college. Eddie is part of that league. We found out today that he has a brain tumor or mass that will hae to be removed tomorrow (Wed). Please pray that he comes out of the surgery safely and they are able to remove it all. He is currently in ICU in Texas. Thanks for your prayers!

Donkey Race

I have to share this because it is so funny! Yesterday in Todd's Bible class, they were talking about Jesus traveling on a donkey. So, in class, they were going to have donkey races. Todd, being one of the biggest kids was going to be one of the donkeys. Todd got down on all fours and a little girl, a good friend of his and the preacher's daughter, got on his back. I am not sure how many were racing at one time, but it was obviously a competition to Todd. Evidently, as he was racing around a curve, his hands went out from under him and he slid nose-first on the carpet. He now has a carpet burn on the bridge of his nose and his forehead. Good news, though: He won the next race! I just wished I could have seen these races!

Breathe by Michael W. Smith

Brad is beginning a series witht he teens on believing in God and atheism. He handed out a 1 question survey to them yesterday. It simply asked where their faith was right now. The choices were:
1) My faith has been tested and I see him working in my life.
2). My faith has been tested but I am do not see him working in my life.
3). I am not sure if God exists or if I believe in him.
4). I do not believe in God.

This got me to thinking. Without a doubt, I could answer #1 today. Not to say that my spiritual life is perfect, but that I know he works in my life. There are times when I have trouble seeing it because of my own sin or distractions, but I know he is there.

However, as a teen, what would my answer have been? I know I believed in God but did I think he worked in my life? I do not know that I would have thought that. Would I have even had a handle of what that truly means? I do not think I would have understood that.

I think spiritual depth comes through experiences. No, they do not all hav eto be bad ones. Unfortunately, I tend to learn more from the valleys than the mountain peaks. I guess it is because we have to be desperate. Have you ever felt that desperation for something. Dying for chocolate, dying for a drink or food, dying to see a family member. How often are we dying to spend time with our God? How often are we "desperate for Him"?

I am reminded of an old song by Michael W Smith. I love this song! This is what I desire: to be desperate for Him. I have come along way, but I have a long way to go. I pray that we all can be that desperate for Him!

Beginning of Spring Break?

Okay, this weekend begins our 2 week Spring Break. I thought this was too early for a spring break and our weather is a big proof that I was correct. This morning, we woke up to snow covered ground. This is the most snow we have had in 5 years. Here are some pictures from our fun in the snow!

Todd with a big snowball! We made lots of these today! I love snowball fights!

Us and the snowman family. The snow would not cooperate in making a good ball. Todd was convinced that we needed to make all of us. Therfore, we resorted to bowls to speed up the process. That is why our snowmen look a little odd. We also were out of carrots so we used Fruit Loop drinking straws!
I added this picture because of the meaning behind it. If you look closely, behind the middle snowman (Me), you will see a tiny snowman with little stick arms. This is our baby snowman. Todd wanted to add it but we can't see it so we had to put it behind me. He was so excited about that addition!

Finally

We told Todd this morning about the baby. His response was priceless. His first response was "Really?" The he looks down and is confused. We showed him a picture, which looks like a peanut, and says, I don't see it. Then, he throws his arms up in the air and says, "Finally, it is our turn to have a baby"! He has talked about it all day. He says he wants a brother but refers to it as a she if he is not thinking about it. He will be so great with a baby. He can't wait to find out what it is!

Sigh, the sound of relief

Okay, many of you have read or know that we had an ultrasound today. Yesterday, we went and they could not hear the heartbeat but thought things were fine. Since I will have a repeat c-section, they have to know an exact fetal age. Therefore, an ultrasound within the next couple of weeks was needed. Well, me, the impatient one, had to know that this one was okay. I went to get the ultrasound and we have a peanut with a heartbeat of 171!!! We are very pleased and thankful. As always, please continue to pray for a health little one! Actual due date is October 15th. It will probably be taken before then. God is good!! Thanks for your prayers and concerns! By the way, we will tell Todd soon. Now I have to go to parent/teacher conferences! I will be there from 4-7 and I think only 1 parent is coming!!

Tagged

I was tagged by my friend Kristin. Here are my answers.

What I was doing 10 years ago: I was living in Arkansas going to school at Harding. I had almost been married 1 year. Yes, I was very young when I got married!! My life was very uncomplicated then.

5 Things on my To Do List today: It has already been a busy morning! I had to get Todd off to school. I had to go copy sheets for school since I am gone today. I have to return a few things to Target. I have to get an ultrasound. Go pick Todd up from my mom's this afternoon and do laundry.

Snacks I Enjoy: I enjoy cheese and crackers. I also like fruit when it is season. Ice cream is always good, too.

Things I would do if I were a Billionaire: If I were to have that kind of money, I would use a small portion to buy a bigger house and a truck for Brad. The rest I would give away. I have always wanted to fund and run a school for special education students that could be little or no cost for the families. I also think a lot of St. Jude's. I would have fun giving it away!

3 of my Bad Habits: Worrying: I am working on that. Back-seat driver, and procrastinating

5 places I have lived: Okay, this list is crazy. Just for your entertainment I will list them all! Montgomery, AL (2 diff. times), Nashville, TN (2 different times but 4 houses), Dallas, Texas (1 time), Searcy, Arkansas (1 time but 3 houses), Atlanta Georgia (1 time), Ponca City, Ok (1 time but 2 houses). Yes, I hate to move now!!!!

5 Jobs I have had: Q-Zar party coordinator, day care worker, babysitter, special education teacher, personal tutor, and stay-at-home mom!


Well, there you have it. I think most of my friends that will do this have been tagged, but I will tag Jeni. I am sure she will do it. If anyone else wants to do it, go for it and leave a message so I will know to read it.

Out Again

Yes, we got another day off of school due to snow. We have not any real good snows just enough to make the schools cancel. As you can imagine, Todd is VERY upset when we have too miss school! (Yes, I am being sarcastic). I am glad we were out because our absentees have been crazy this week. I have 7 in my class and the past 2 days I only had 3 and it was not the same 3. We have the flu, a stomach virus, and strep going around. I hope to stay clear of that.

On anther note, I go to the Dr. a week from today. I am very nervous and excited all balled into one. I have not had any bleeding thus far. I am hopeful that all is well. Please continue to keep me in your prayers. Oh, and yes, I have been very sick!

Well, that's all for now. I am going to go curl up while Todd plays the Wii!

In Christ Alone Worship Video with Lyrics

Many of you probably know this song. I have loved this song since I first heard it. However, when you hear nearly 7,000 people sing it, it is so convicting. If you have never heard this song, listen to it. It is even better acapella but I could not find a version of it. May we live our lives as if He really commands our destiny! May we stand arm and arm and make a stand for our Lord and Savior!

Winterfest

I just got back from a wonderful trip. I went to Winterfest in Gatlinburg, TN. For those of my high school friends, you will remember these trips. I always enjoyed going as a teen. As an adult, I enjoy it even more. I always look forward to the worship time. This is my 2nd year as a chaperone and I love it! Jeff Walling was the speaker and Jerome Williams led the worship. WOW!! It was amazing. I always coem back with a fresh perspective and the teens are on fire for the Lord after this trip. We took 65 people and it was a great weekend. We had no discipline issue and we had 2 baptisms.

As I sat during one of the services, I sat back and thought about how encouraging it was to see that many teens fired-up for the Lord. It then made me reflect on what heaven will be like. In our service, we had 6,000 people. The other service had just as many. The sound of the song service was amazing. Oh, it makes me long for the day when that is what my eternal life will be. I hope that Winterfest still exist when Todd is in school so that he can experience that feeling of pure joy worshipping our Father.

Valentine Gift

Last year, I got my mom a necklace by a company called Pandora. It is like a modern charm bracelet concept. You buy a chain and add different beads. I talked to my brother and dad and they went in on it too. We all picked out charms that reminded us of mom.

I loved the concept of these necklaces but did not get one for myself. However, after the miscarriage, I went and bought myself one. I bought a ring of hearts, a little boy, and the charm pictured in this post, Angel of Hope. Ever since then, for any occasion, Brad and Todd pick out charms for me. I love seeing what they pick out. Usually it is Todd's choices with Daddy's leading. It has become so exciting to see what I will add next. This holiday they got me a strawberry, a heart with a pink stone, and a rose. Some day I will have to post a picture of the necklace. It is so much fun to add to and I get comments on it a lot! I hope all of you have a great Valentine's Day, too!

Believe

I debated back and forth whether to post this information. However, I decided the prayers would comfort me. Brad and I just found out that we are expecting a baby! I am just over 4 weeks so it is very early. I am excited but scared. As you all know, back in August we lost a baby girl. I know that God is in control and I want him to be. However, in my mind, I do not want to endure a heartbreak again. Please keep us in your prayers. I will go to the Dr. on March 5th I believe. (Good sign that I can't remember and I just made it on Tues. :) Last time, we had already had the miscarriage by that time. Please keep us and this baby in mind. If you live around here, Todd DOES NOT know. We will tell him after that visit if things are ok. Please do not say anything around him. He is very in tune to adult's conversations. I know that God will protect us. I know He has a plan. I also know as painful as the miscarriage was, He is the one that sees the final plan. I have to believe that His will will be done! God is good and He is faithful. Though we do not understand His ways at times, He is the only way I want to go!

Happiness

I have a little girl that I teach that I think is precious. She comes in EVERY day smiling and leaves EVERY day smiling. She has a bounce in her step when she walks. She thinks I am the greatest. She has become my "side kick" according to many teachers because she is with me a lot. She is a hard worker and is just pleasant to be around. Her innocence is refreshing. She has struggles but at this point, she doesn't know it.



Secretly, I wish I was like that! I wished I was happy all of the time. I wished I had a bounce in my step and an innocence that was so appealing. I was thinking about this and then I realized that I should be that way. Christ came to this Earth and died for me! Why am I not that happy. Why do I not tell everyone how great my "Teacher" is? Perhaps, if I felt that way about my "Teacher", I would be that happy. So, I am going to strive to have my student's outlook on life! I will bet that I will be that happy, too!

Evolution of Dance

My friend, Jeni, posted this to her website. I thought it was so funny that I would post it on mine. I needed a lighter post! Hope you enjoy it. My favorites from my childhood were 1).Vanilla Ice (I use to do gymnastics routines to it!)
2). The Brady song. Yeah, real sad that I use to know that whole routine.
3). Michael Jackson- I till have the record. Boy, that sounds old!

So, which one brings back good or bad memories for you?

Every Saturday

As you know, it was 2 weeks ago today (Saturday) that I received a phone call that a dear friend of mine had passed away at the age of 33. This has been a difficult situation. It is case like this that we have to have faith that God knows best and that He is the ultimate authority in our lives. I know all of this to be true, but still occurrences like this take a part of your security and comfort. It makes you realize that we are only here temporarily and that this world is not our home. It makes us realize even more that we do not think in God's time.

As I was driving somewhere the other day, I heard a christian song I had never heard. I listen to this genre almost exclusively and had never heard this song. I assumed it was a new release. No, it isn't but the timing for me could not have been better. I have clung to the words of this song since the day I heard it. I have posted a link to hear it, but I am including the words.

As I read the words, I am reminded on many times in my life I was barely hanging on and felt so empty. During those times, I had to know that God was in control and believe in Him. I hope you all can get something from this song, as well. I am sure we all have had times that we were trying to "figure God out". I am also sure we have had times where we blamed God for our pain or question Him. This song sums up some of those thoughts for me. I hope you enjoy.

Every Saturday by Seventh Day Slumber


Saturdays have never been the same
And I still can't believe you're gone
So many things I wish that I could say
I guess the hardest part of moving on
Are these memories that have overtaken me
Once again I'm right here on my knees

I'm barely hanging on
With all these empty feelings
I'm hurting in so many ways
And though I can't begin to understand the reason
I still believe that you're GOD

Saturdays have never been the same
That moment keeps repeating in my mind
The ringing phone
A call that changed my world
An emptiness that words cannot define
All these memories have overtaken me
So once again I fall upon my knees

And as you cried I cried with you
I'll never leave
I'll carry you through
Can't you see that I was always there?
These ashes of pain will fade

I'm barely hanging on
With all these empty feelings
I'm hurting in so many ways
And though I can't begin to understand the reason
I still believe that you're GOD
I'm barely hanging on
With all these empty feelings
I'm hurting in so many ways
And though I can't begin to understand the reason
I still believe that you're GOD


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xqz3XYGQHwY- Here is the link to the song if you want to hear it.

I was tagged by Rebecca.

The Rules: Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
Share 5 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.or
Share the 5 top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list.or
Share 5 things you never pictured being in your future when your were 25 years old.Tag a minimum of 5, maximum of 10 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.The tagees have a choice of which they want to do.

I will share 5 random facts about myself:
1). As of today, I am a deacon's wife. (Brad will be a deacon over the youth at church.) I think that means we are old!
2). I love the show The Hills. Yes, that is a teenager show but it is like high school days gone bad!
3). I want to learn sign language and plan to do that some day.
4). I am very afraid of snakes.
5). I am a worrier. I worry about far too many things. One of my resolutions is not not worry so much. I have always tried to think out the scenarios. I have come to realize in the last year, that is impossible. Leave it up to God!

There you have it. It is not too exciting. Perhaps I could add number six, my life is pretty boring!:)

I am tagging: Franklin, Tracy, Becky, and Jeni. Everyone else has already been tagged.

The baby

I know you are all wondering. No, we are not expecting a baby. This is something that is so heart wrenching, yet so comforting at the same time. As I mentioned, I was very close to my friend, Evette (the one that passed away). I have not mentioned that I had become close to all of her family because Brad played on their family volleyball team the last 2 years at church. We laughed so much together. Her sister was a labor and deliver nurse for many years. When we had our miscarriage she was an important person to us. Yesterday, as I made my way down the line to speak to all of the family and give Evette my final goodbye, I came to Evonne first. As we embraced and cried, she pulled away from me and this is what she told me, " I hope this doesn't make you mad, but I am going to say it anyway. Evette is rocking your baby for you!" It was at that moment that I lost it. I know she is. I know that she is taking care of Faith. She loved her own children so much and she always was taking care of others children and teaching in the nursery. It was later that I thought, she can take care of my baby and I will take care of hers. We will have to help each other until our families are united for eternity.

The Funeral

Well, we layed my dear friend to rest yesterday. I have to say that was a difficult day. Her family is grieving so much. The still need our continued prayers for peace and strength! As I sat there listening to all of the kind words being said, I glanced up at her husband. He was holding the 8 year old daughter. I have to say that Evette would have been so proud to see him with their little girl. He has been a rock for them to lean on but has been honest about the pain he and they would have to endure. As he cried during moments during the service, his daughter would wrap his arms around his neck and pat his back. I can already see that the love and tenderness Evette would have shown is being shown through her daughter. Thank you all for the prayers and kind words. I am making it day by day. I find myself thinking of her children and husband often. I cannot imagine the pain and confusion they must be experiencing. I pray that God will continue to strenghten them during these times!

Where to go from here

The last few days have been a blur. I find myself being very quiet and reserved. I have been at work but I am just going through the motions. As I read my friend's obituaries, I found myself taken back another time. I just can not get my mind wrapped around the fact that I will never see her. I will never enjoy a humorous conversation with her. I will never play one of her never ending games. I will never hear her laugh or cry. All I will hear is the memories we all had. She was a silent servant. She never saw herself that way. She always wanted more. So, as I prepare for the worst "personal day" in history (that is what I had to take to be gone from school with pay), I am reminded of what is important. I am reminded to be that servant to others and to not take for granted any time we have. No one would have know that a person that seemed so healthy would leave so quickly. Please go and tell those that you love how much they mean to you!

In the blink of an eye...

things can happen that forever change your life. Today has been one of those days. I have written the last few days about my bad days. I sorry to say that today tops them all. I was about to get dressed to go see a new home and then go run errands for my class. That is when we received a phone call that shocked me. A very good friend of mine had passed away. It is actually our preacher's wife: a mother of 3 young children ( 7, 5, and 1 year of age). I cannot explain to you they way I feel. She was the life of a party. I attended a ladies' dinner Thursday and she kept us all laughing. I am still in shock. My heart hurts from the pain. To see her kids cry, it killed me. They would say things about it being hard to not have a mom. PLEASE pray for her husband and kids. They are lost right now. Please pray for all of their families. It is so painful for our entire church. I guess this makes me realize that a job is nothing compared to family! Also, we have to explain this to Todd tonight. He has already had issues with death (see previous post). Please pray for us as we attempt to explain our Lord. He is mighty, He is just and He is in charge. We know He is good and He called her home. We have to lean of His strength and faithfulness during these times!

Thursday...

See Tuesday and Wednesday. Tomorrow is Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday...

Same as Tuesday.

Daniel Powter - Bad Day

I love this song and it pretty much sums up my day! All during break, I had a feeling I would get a new student in my class today. Sure enough, at 8:05, the office buzzed me to come to the office to meet my new student. I did not have text books, desk, supplies, or anything for him. He also increases my age gap by several years and the academic by even more. So all day, I ran like a chicken with my head cut off. On top of all of that, some children had to get use to the school routine again. Oh, well. Tomorrow is a new day. I just pray that I don't get any more new students for a while!

That Moment

This picture may seem a little strange, especially since Christmas has come and gone. However, this ornament brought about a discussion with Todd that is unforgettable. He and I were in Walmart looking at the 50% off merchandise. We came across some really cute ornament balls. I have never been a huge fan of the balls but these had Santa faces and snowmen. He really wanted to buy some and at that price, why not. I bent down to show him all of the different kinds that they had. As I pulled out the snowman, a box of ornaments were behind it like the ones in the picture. He said, "Mommy that is a picture of baby Jesus in the manger with Mary." I told him that he was right. He immediately began one of the sweetest conversations. He insisted that we needed those ornaments because that was the point of Christmas. He continued, "After all, Christmas is not about the presents it is about the birth of baby Jesus. If it weren't for Jesus, we would not have a Christmas." We continued this discussion for quite some time. He was saying that some people don't see it that way, but he does. He likes presents but "Jesus is way more important". I was so proud of him. We ended that discussion and I began looking at ornament storage containers. I glanced back and thought his eyes were closed. Then, I felt a small tug on my shirt and in a whisper this is what I heard. "Mommy, I just prayed". Tear began to fill my eyes. I wanted to grab him and say, now you've got it. You understand it. However, that would have confused him. Instead I said, "Wow, Buddy, that is so great. What did you pray about?" He replied, "Just everything."

This was one of those moments I pray about. For those of you that do not really know Todd, God has given him a heart unlike many males. He is very in tune with people's emotions. He has a servant heart. Trust me this is not any of my doing, only the Father. However, I pray often that Brad and I will raise him to have a servant heart. Sometimes that is a scary prayer. What if he is called to go to a far off country? But I still continue to pray for Him to have that heart. I saw that heart in Walmart. I saw that he was understanding things that will forever change his life.

As I conclude on 2007, I realize how blessed I am. Sure there have been heartaches this year. I lost the little girl that I long for. Brad was out of work some, Todd has been ill a lot lately, my mom still has MS, the list could continue. But, through all of this, I am blessed with the security of knowing that my Father will and does provide all that I need and more. HE has blessed me with a family that I love so dearly. He has blessed me with a church that stretches me spiritually. He has provided financially when it looked bleak. I pray that the Lord blesses us this year and that more than ever we will see His glory revealed to us. May God bless you all in 2008!

I was tagged by Todd

I was tagged by my mommy's friend from high school's daughter. So here is 8 things about me.

1). My name is Todd and I am five.

2). I like to play with Hot Wheels and tracks.

3). I really like to play with my Wii. I like to play Star Wars with Daddy and I am the best in my family at Hot Wheels!

4). I love my mommy and daddy.

5). I like to play computer games.

6). I work a lot at school but my favorite thing about school is PE.

7). I like to go to class at church and I like to play with my friends after church.

8). I like to draw things for my mommy and daddy.

9). Oh, I forgot to add that I love my cousins and really love to play with them and I like Alabama football!

Well, there are my 8 things just as I stated them. My mommy typed them but I came up with them on my own. I am a little bit older than some of the other kids so I had an advantage. I hope you enjoyed reading about me! Thanks Ella for tagging me. I would like to tag: Ava, Nate, and Wendy.

Casting Crowns - Prayer For A Friend

I recently found this song. There are so many people that I can think of that are struggling with spiritual strength or that have never turned to the Lord. This is a beautiful song that expresses what I have felt so often. Sometimes the words I have aren't right. I thank God that I do not have to have the words. I have to turn them over to the Lord and let Him use me as a tool. I pray that you will take a moment and lift up those that you know that do not know Him or that are struggling. Let us take this time to pray for one another's friends. After you take your names before God, leave a message stating that you have done that so that we can pray for each other's friends. Do not list names. God will know who you have brought before Him. This is a lost world in which we live. We need to join together to strengthen those that are struggling.

Pray also for me. Pray that when I open my mouth, the right words will be given to me. Then I can be bold as I tell the mystery of the good news. Ephesians 6:19

So close!

One and a half more days and I am off until January 7th!! I am so ready for it. I can't believe we are in school so close to X-mas. My mother-in-law comes in on Friday night and then we have Christmas with my parents and Brad's mom on Monday. I liked it better when we went back earlier in January and got out more days before the holidays began! I do not have many days to get into the holiday mind-frame! I am very excited about it, though.

AGAIN!!!

I can't believe it. Todd has strep and and ear infection again!! I am so tired of him being sick. He is so pitiful. He just can't get his immune system built back up. There are so many sicknesses going around here it stinks! It doesn't help that parents NEVER keep their kids home when they are sick. Therefore, they are spreading germs everywhere. I am so glad that after a 1/2 day on the 20th we are out for several weeks. Maybe all of the sickness will settle. I am just thankful that Todd is ahead academically since he has missed so much school!

Santa

We took Todd to visit Santa today. He is so funny. For many years, he was afraid. He wanted to get the gifts but not see him. I know that is pretty common. He is no longer afraid of him but he is very quiet when he sees him. He prefers to make out a list so Santa can read it instead of telling him. He also thinks that Santa "might need the list in case he forgets. He does see a lot of kids in a day, Mommy". We actually waited in line for an hour. That is a long time for Santa but I guess it's better than being overlooked on Christmas Eve. I can tell you Todd would NEVER wait that long for a great buy on clothes, food, or anything else!

My poor sick child

Okay, it has not been a fun day in our house. Todd continues to be sick. He is throwing up and having major diarrhea This is not a good thing. He has not kept food down or liquid. We had to rush him to the Dr. today because he was so weak he was tripping. In his words, "My legs are jiggly because my body is tired". That come after sleeping all morning. They had to test to make sure his kidney's weren't failing. That turned out fine. They did blood work to see if it was viral or bacterial. It was all still up in the air. In the meantime, we have to take him back at 11:oo tomorrow if he continues to be sick tonight, which he has already. They will look at IV if he doesn't improve. Oh, I forgot to add that Brad and I are also sick. I just about passed out in the Dr. office. I hate stomach viruses!!

Sick, Sick, Sick

This pretty much describes my child lately. I do not know what the deal is. He only missed 2 days of pre-school last year, he has already missed 5 1/2 this year and has to miss tomorrow, also. He has had strep (2 days), an ear infection (1 day), fever from flu shot (1/2 day), and now the unidentifiable illness (3 days after tomorrow). I took him to the Dr and thought he had strep again since it is going around. The quick test says negative. He has been running a fever over 100 degrees. Now he has stomach issues so I think it is the stomach virus that is going around. I can't wait until break so that his immune system can have a break. Sickness is much more complicated when both parents work!

Thanksgiving and Black Friday

We had a nice Thanksgiving. We went to my parents house. It was a pretty laid back day of eating and watching football.

I love black Friday. I enjoy the rush of getting up early and hunting for a bargain. I woke up at 4:15 to go make the trek this year. I went to Toys R Us first. I had timed it where I did not have to wait in the cold too long. That was a successful endeavor. I also got a great purchase for Brad. I will not elaborate because he reads this sometimes. I also managed to get several things completed. I am actually just about done. I love this time of year. I love the thought of picking out things that I think they will like. I enjoy wrapping presents, which I did last night, I love Christmas lights, but I enjoy the focus on our Savior the most. I am so glad the Church of Christ has finally embraced this focus during the holiday season. I know for much of my life Jesus was not spoken of during Christmas time. I am glad that we can sit and discuss His sacrifice He gave for us. That brings a true happiness to my life that no gift can provide.

What is your favorite holiday and why?

What a Weekend!

We had quite a weekend. My brother got extra Alabama tickets for Saturday's game. We decided to go and take Todd to his 1st game. I was me, Brad, Todd, my nephew, my brother, and my dad. We did not stay for the whole game partly because they were losing to a sub-par team. It was a fun game, despite the loss. While we were that close, we decided last minute (Friday afternoon) to drive on over to Montgomery after the game. We arrived in Montgomery at 6:30 Saturday night. We grabbed a bite to eat and went to my aunt and uncle's house. We had a great visit. We got to the hotel at 11:30 and were up Sunday before 7:00 thanks to our 5 year old alarm clock. We decided to go to Landmark. After church we went back to my aunt and uncle's house before leaving. We did not leave Montgomery until 5:00 which had us arriving in Nashville at 10:30pm.

Here are all of my random thoughts regarding this trip:
1). What were we thinking? We are still exhausted. Thankfully I am out of work the rest of the week and Brad only has to work tomorrow.
2). I got to briefly visit with some old friends. That is always fun. I also got to meet their children and they got to meet mine.
3). This was my 1st time back to Montgomery. That city played a big part in my life. It was odd going back after 10 years. The last time I stepped foot in that place was my wedding day! What great and special memories that building will hold for me.
4). Montgomery has expanded but some parts look identical to the scenery 10 years ago.
5). Although Montgomery was a good place for me growing up, I prefer TN. That is home for me.
6). I was glad to see that people still recognized me. I guess 10 years hasn't changed me too much!
7). It is always good to reflect on our past, but not live in it. I am so happy in my life now, I would not want to go back to high school. I miss my friendships but not the experiences!

Todd and the job

Many of you have asked, yes Todd is much better. His eyes were pitiful for a day and a half but are back to normal. He has been back to school and is doing well.

Others have also asked about my job. It is going well. I am in a self-contained special education class with 5 students. They are all young. I am loving it. After my time as a sub, I realized how much I love special education. I love the smaller number of kids so that I can really know them. I love being able to paint and it not take ALL day. I love being able to buy cotton candy and Capri Suns and not cost $50. ( Can you tell what letter we are working on this week?) I enjoy the small victories that these kids have. I just love the underdog! It has been a big transition and a lot of time up front. The class was very messy and there was no real curriculum. However, that is getting fixed and we are doing well with out new schedule. Guess that's all for now.

Sick

After one week of work, Todd is sick and I will have to miss work. For most people that is not a big deal and they like it. For me, I spent 2 1/2 hours today writing out lesson plans and schedules so that someone can fill in. Luckily, I do have an assistant who should be there. Still, you have to plan as though she isn't. It takes forever.

I had to take Todd today to the Dr. At first I thought he had pink eye. Last night, his eyes were running a stream of greenish yellow junk out of his eyes. He could not open his eyes this morning. The doctor looked in his ear and asked Todd if his ear had been hurting. Todd said no to which the doctor said he had a really high tolerance of pain. Evidently, he has had an ear infection for a while and it has backed up into his tear ducts. He looks pitiful, though he feels fine. However, I am keeping him home until we get 24 hours of antibiotic in him. The only good part is that my house will get cleaned tomorrow!

Investation

We had a real problem a week ago. I walked into my living room and there sat a brown rat. How disgusting is that. For several day we were unable to get rid of it. I finally got a picture of it and realized it was too cute to get rid of.

So here is what Todd decided to be for Halloween. He is the brother rat from Disney's Ratatouille. He was so cute in this costume. I loved the stuffing to make him look fat. I was glad he had all of that stuffing because it was cold. We had a lot of fun for Halloween. My parents had a party the Saturday before and he spent the night. Sunday night was Trunk Or Treat at church. Then, Wed. night, we went to a neighborhood and did a few houses before church. A teen really scared him so he got done pretty early. Todd is funny anyway because he does all of the work of going door-to-door but never ask for the candy. That is left for us and it does not fit into weight watchers!

Britt Nicole | Don't Worry Now

I heard this song on my way to work today. I thought it was beautiful! I am blessed to still have my dad. He is such a rock for me and an important part of my life. I cried as I heard this song thinking about people I know that have lost their father. I also can understand the thoughts of trying to figure out love during trying times. I feel that this song sings of our heavenly Father. He had to leave this earth for our sins ebenthough those around Him were not ready. He wants us to realize what love really is and He is always telling us it will be OK.

Deep thoughts by Todd

O.k. I have to say that I knew that deep questions about our faith and God would come; however, I did not think 5 would be that magical age. I understand my faith on an adult level, but was not prepared to explain some deep ideas to a 5 year old. I had not spent great time seeking for God's wisdom in this area yet! Here is a conversation that occurred between me and Todd yesterday. This all happened in under 10 minutes.

Todd: Mommy, how does God hold up the sun and not burn his hand?
Me: Well, he does not hold it in his hand. He placed it there and it stays.
T: How did he do that?
M: Well, He is God and can do many things that we can't do.
T: Well, I've wondered how he can make something out of nothing. Why can't I do that?
M: Yeah, he did make the sun out of nothing, but we can't because He is God and he can do things we can't do.
T: So, he made the whole world the same way?
M: Yes, that's right.
T: Is God a boy?
M: What do you think?
T: Yes, he is a boy.
M: That's right.
T: What about that other thing?
M: (I knew he meant the Holy Spirit.) I think you mean Jesus.
T: Um, I think...
M: No, you mean Jesus. (I did not want to get into the Holy Spirit any more than we already have. I knew they idea of a spirit living in us would scare him).
T: Yeah, I guess.
M: Yeah, He is a boy.
T: How can God live in us and in Heaven?
M: (I am thinking can we take any longer to get to Grandma's house. How long will these questions go?) Well, His body doesn't really live in our body. His body is in Heaven but he lives in our heart.
T: What do you mean He lives in our heart?
M: Well, we know he is there in our heart because we can feel Him. We know he loves us and we can feel His love in our heart.
T: Oh, yeah I can feel that.
M: Good, it feels nice doesn't it?
T: Yeah. Hey, what can we do that God can do?
M: Nothing, really because no one is like Him. He is so special. That is why we want to always love Him and obey Him because He does things we can't.
T: Yeah, like heal sick people. If we pray to someone else, they can't heal me, but God can.
M: Yep, your right. Well, look Todd, we just pulled up to Grandma and Grandpa's. (Thank goodness. I need to pray for wisdom on answering a 5 year old's questions on the Holy Spirit)

There you have it. I was in awe of his knowledge and curiosity. Perhaps we should all be that hungry for the understanding of our Lord. It was another realization of the important job we have as parents to help our children develop their on faith and belief in God. I guess I will be ready next time!

In the past

I was tagged by my friend, Jeni. I am supposed to write what I was doing 10, 20, and 30 years ago. So here we go:

10 years ago: I was married to Brad even though I was only 21. We had been married 4 months. I was in my junior year of school. I was deep in my major of elementary education. Brad was working many hours at Footlocker counting down the days until I graduated and he could get a job in his actual major. He was determined that I would be able to graduate from Harding.


20 years ago: I would have just turned 11 years old. I was in 4th grade. I was living in Flower Mound, Texas. I was in Mrs. Tweedy's class. She was one of my favorite teachers ever. I was in a class with a lot of special education children. I guess I was already in training for my future job. Those kids would listen to me when they wouldn't listen to the teacher.


30 years ago: I had just turned one. I was really cute. I was good since I had not hit my terrible 2's. I was a happy little baby.

What

I just realized that I must have been really tired last night when I wrote that blog. There were misspelled words and mis-typed word like crazy. I am really not that dumb.

The Touch

I have been doing a study called "Fingerprints of God" by Jennifer Rothschild. I actually started it a long time ago and had quit because of VBS. It got misplaced and I uncovered it last week. It is a really good daily study. It is not a long daily study, but it has some good thoughts. The premise is that we are made uniquely by God and he desires us to know Him like He knows us. On Monday, the session was about the woman at the well in John 4:3-10. The author was saying that not all of us get to see God through a burning bush or a talking donkey but that God reveals Himself to each of us individually. Rothschild went on to say that "Sometimes our plans and longings get in the way and they only serve to blur our view, keeping us from recognizing God's presence in our most ordinary moments". Wow! That is so true for me in my life. That was a comment that hit home to me. However, the most amazing thing was what was suggested to do at the end of that day's study. The author suggest praying to God and asking Him to reveal Himself to me in the next 3 days as He touches me in my ordinary life. I have prayed to feel God's presence before but never in a time frame like this. Let me just tell you, that was an amazing time in prayer for me. I truly felt connected and I prayed an earnest prayer. I am sure with a specific time frame I was more in tune to His leading. It was yesterday that God revealed Himself to me. It was in the form of a touch from a child. It was so evident that this child, though by earthly standards was lost, was a subtle reminder of my Lord and His plan for me. As of November, I will now be a full time teacher in a class that is a true calling. It is one that the scenario is awkward and the situations difficult, but one that I will embrace. It is one that God has called me to and it was all because I was ready for Him to truly lead my life. I would like to challenge each of you to ask God to reveal Himself, but be prepared, it might make you step out of your comfort zone, but if you truly believe in Him, it will seem like a much easier decision.

Memories

One of my good friends birthday is on October 15th. So, in honor of her, I dug up so old photos of the good days of high school. Many of my friends have blogs, facebook, or myspace accounts. I am so glad because it allows me to keep in touch. The girls in these pictures were what helped me to develop into who I am today! Thanks girls. I miss your friendships and the good days of laughing and being immature. Now we are responsible moms. Crazy stuff! For those of you that know me now, I had a perm in some of these years. What was I thinking?

This is a group of us at Winterfest either our soph. or Jr. year. I chose this one because the couple on the left are married with 3 children. We always knew they would stay together! He was also a good friend of mine.

This is us in our Sr. year. We were all in chorus and this was our terrible dresses! This was all of my good female friends!
Again, this is our Sr. year. We were on a chorus trip and had decided to play on the McDonald's playground. I am on the far left.

This is a us at our Jr./Sr. formal.

Thanks for the memories Rebecca, Erika, and Kristin. It was a lot of fun.

Cinderella Days

I have not seen this movie in a while. However, today I gained more respect for Cinderella. I scrubbed my kitchen/eat-in area floors with a small brush. You might wonder why. Well, when we bought our house 3 years ago, we picked out a flooring that was durable, cheaper, and would help disguise dirt. What we didn't think about was the fact that this flooring was VERY porous. Of course it hides dirt well because it seeps into the pores and make the entire floor look nasty. So, after putting this off long enough, I got down on my knees and for about 5 hours I scrubbed. My hands are about to fall off but the floor looks so much cleaner. Now, I have mopped it consistently but it just did not get all of the dirt out of the pores. So, I decided to post a picture that shows the difference between the cleaned floor and the dirty floor. Just remember, I really do keep them mopped, just not scrubbed. The clean floor is on the right and the dirty floor is on the left. Notice how much lighter they are when they are cleaned. You can see the dirt in the pores. GROSS!

Now some of you might wonder what Todd was doing during my cleaning. Well, I have included a few pictures to show what he did while I was being Cinderella.

He also played Scooby Doo with me,

He played cars, he played trains, and he played with the McDonald's food. Oh, and he watched Scooby Doo, too. Come to thank of it, no wonder he had to rest!



Luckily, my Cinderella days are few and far between. Tomorrow we are off to a pumpkin patch. Perhaps my carriage will be waiting!

Tagged

Okay, Kristin, a very dear friend of mine from high school, has tagged me about my man. Here we go:

1. Who is my man? Brad
2. How long have we been together? We have been married 10 years
3. How long did we date? We dated 1 years and were engaged 1year .
4. How old is he? 34
5. Who eats more? He does.
6. Who said "I love you" first? He did.
7. Who is taller? He is.
8. Who sings better? I do.
9. Who is smarter? I really do not know. We are probably have about the same IQ.
10. Who has more of a temper? Mine. He is very laid-back!
11. Who does the laundry? I do most of the time. He will do it if I am busy!
12. Who takes out the trash? He does.
13. Who has sharper computer skills? He does.
14. Who sleeps on the right side? He does.
15. Who pays bills? I do.
16. Who mows the lawn? He does usually. When he was traveling to Chicago, I did.
17. Who cooks? I do however not as much as I should.
18. Who drives when we are together? He does.
19. Who pays when we are out together? He does.
20. Who is more stubborn? Does Todd count? If not, me.
21. Who is first to admit it when they are wrong? Brad
22. Who asked out who? Brad asked me. Funny story. I will have to post that sometime.
23. Who kissed who first? Brad kissed me first.
24. Who is more sensitive? Me by far.
25. Who has more friends? We are about the same. Most of our friends are at church.
26. Who has more siblings? He does. He has 2 half brothers. I have one brother.
27. Who wears the pants? He does but we discuss things. I guess we sort-of share but he is our spiritual leader!
Now, I will tag the three people: Tracy, Becky, and Jeni.

Be Still

I was called to study the passage in Psalm 37:7 the other night. I had prayed that I would be lea to the scripture that I needed to study. This is what I read.

Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him. Don't bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top.

Now the second part was not too impacting. However, the words that really drew me in was "Quiet down" or "Be still". Then I was drawn to Psalm 46:10. This passage is one I have read a million times, but I really read it and thought on it this time.

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

It was then that I was lead to a common story. A lesson that I have taught in children's classes and one that I have heard many lessons on in my lifetime. However, it spoke to me in a deeper way than I can even put into words. It was the scripture in Mark 4:38-40.

38Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
39He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

After reading this, I felt a feeling like I had not felt in quite some time. A feeling of comfort and peace. I could feel myself saying to God, "Lord, why me. Don't you care. I feel like I am drowning in life and do you just sit and watch?" It was then that I heard my Lord whisper to me, "Carrie, be still and be calm. Why are you afraid. Do you still have no faith?" Wow. I was opened to my true self. Why do I question. Why do I wonder if He is present. The same God that watches over me was willing to give His only son for me. Of course he cares! Of course he is there waiting for me.

I realized I have been running. I have been busy so that I do not have to deal with the hurt I have faced. I have been fearful of what trial I would endure next. Sad to say, my prayers have been guarded. Sure I have prayed faithfully but not openly. I have been awaken by the words of these scriptures. I have been told to be still. That is hard. I will leave with these words from a song that allowed me to make it through the loss of our precious baby girl. I sang this song many times with tears flowing from my eyes. I suppose it will always have a big place in my heart. I wished I was an artist. I would draw a picture of my Lord with a hand holding numerous tears. In each tear, would be words or names of things that I have cried over. Some are so insignificant. Others shook my faith but did not keep me down. This is a part of the song by Casting Crowns, " Praise You in this Storm".

And I'll praise you in this storm and i will lift my hands that you are who you are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried you hold in your hand you never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise you in this storm

Update

Well, it has been a while since I have posted anything. Several of you have asked how things are going. Well, Brad had been offered a position a week ago but it was back in mortgage and was full commission. UGH! We had decided that he would wait until yesterday and if he did not have any other option, he would take that job. I really did not want him to have to work in a job he hated. Work is bad enough but if you HATE it, it is worse. However, on Friday, he received a call from his old boss saying he was trying to get him on with him. It would be doing what he loved (project manager coordinator) and it would be in town! So, yesterday Brad received an offer to work as an outsource for HCA a huge medical company here in town. He is so relieved and so am I! God is good you just have to sit back and wait for His timing. Also, I have been offered a full time position at the school where I have been subbing. We are on a 2 week Fall Break. I will make that decision when we return to school. I do not know enough about the position. I do know it is a self-contained special education class. I do not know the severity or the conditions. I will have to talk to the teacher. So, that is what is going on in our household. We are busy but are blessed to see God's work in our lives. Thanks for all of your prayers. This has been a difficult time for us. I am looking forward to some stability and sanity again! I pray that we can have a little breather before we are under trials again.

Exhausted!

Some of you have asked how the teaching is going. All I have to say is that 16 5 year olds WEAR ME OUT! This was only my 2nd day and I am still adjusting to their schedule. Today was more quiet and less confusing. I think we will do well. I really like the kids and the other kindergarten teachers. I just hope we continue to do well and that they get what they need academically. In the mean time, I have not slept as well as I did last night in a long time! So, if you can't sleep, go ask to sub for kindergarten!

Faith Beasley

We received the news from our genetic testing. We were expecting a little girl. They found nothing irregular in the testing. That was a tough phone call. One, they saw nothing wrong so why did she not make it? Two, I really wanted a little girl. I just knew that Todd would love a little sister and protect her to the end.

So, after some thought, we will always remember my little Faith Leeanne Beasley. This was not what we would have named her on Earth, but since God called her home before we ever met, we will call her Faith because that is all I have left in me after this trial. I have to know that God is good and that His plan is the only right plan not matter what I feel or how bad it hurts right now. So, Baby Faith will be waiting for me and what a happy meeting I will have one day. I love you, Faith but more importantly, I love you Lord!

Mrs. Beasley

Those are some words I have not heard on a regular basis since May of 2002. However, starting next Monday, I will hear them daily over and over again. I have agreed to take an interim teaching position at the school that Todd attends. Here is the good part, it is Kindergarten. I will be around 5 year olds all day and all night for 4 weeks. I am excited about it, though. I considered going back into teaching this year but decided to see how Todd did in school. He is doing well and since Brad still has not found a job, I could not pass it up. Also, with the latest happenings in our life, I need to make a change and do something to help me move on. On top of all of that, if I am not pregnant by next August, I will go back into teaching next year. I hope that this will get my foot in the door. I would love to be able to teach at the same school that Todd attends. It would make it less hectic. We will see how this goes. I always taught middle school but this is what I chose for my original degree. I am always up for new challenges. I just pray for LOTS of energy!

Self Control

Self control is hard enough for an adult , but can be nearly impossible for children. Todd has difficulty with sugar and certain dyes in food. We have worked hard to limit his sugar content so that he would do well in school. Sugars and dye can make him wild instantly. It is like we injected him with pure hyperactivity. Last year, he got in some trouble at preschool for being too active. For school this year, we had discussed having him bring his own snack instead of eating what was brought by others because of the sugar. We decided to let him try eating what was brought but if it did not work, he understood our plan. Well, a few weeks ago, he had been doing perfect in school, so I put a fruit roll-up in his lunch. It has a smaller amount of sugar than a lot of things. As I put it in, I stressed to him to not let it get him in trouble. I also told him if he had something sweet for snack, he probably should not eat it. That day, he ate it because they had been given crackers for a snack. Yesterday, I had given him another fruit roll-up. I did not "preach" to him. As a matter of fact, I did not even mention the sugar issue or not eating the treat. When he got home yesterday, he had not eaten the fruit roll-up. I asked him why and he said, "Because our snack was something sweet". It had been 2 weeks since we had that discussion and he remembered it and followed through with it. I was so proud of him. I was wanting him to learn to control it on his own and he had! That takes a lot of self control! I'm not sure I would have been able to do it if it was something I liked as much as he likes fruit roll-ups. So after a big praise, we opened up the fruit roll-up and ate it. He is growing up fast!

Young Families

What does a policeman, a vet, an architech, 2 accountants, a preschool teacher, and a businessman have in common? Not too much normally, but in our small group we all have the desire to reach out to the community and become stronger in faith. We have small groups at our church that meet once a month. Most people are in a group that is geographically close. A group of young families got together and decided close to home was not the important thing. We wanted to be in a group where our kids enjoyed meeting as well. We started with a group of 13 total. As of this weekend, we have grown to 38 people! We all have very different backgrounds. We have some single moms, some people with 4 kids and others with no kids. We are a very diverse group. From the outside, you would think we could not create a deep relationship. However, these families are very important to Brad and I. We laugh with them, we shed tears with them, we love them. I often think that this is what the early church would have been like. We have varying strengths and weaknesses but together, we are a vibrant group that wants to reach the lost.

Brad and I have had it on our hearts for some time to head up a young families ministry. We have decided that is what the Lord is leading us to at this point on our lives. Please be in prayer that we will know God's desire as we begin this endeaver.

Are any of you part of a young families ministry? What is your favorite part about it? Why is is successful or why does it not do too well. We would like to have other people's feedback.

For Wes- Glory Baby

I was led to this video by a friend from high school. I have a CD of Watermark but I had not heard this song. This really is a beautiful song. One night before we knew for sure we had lost our baby, I was crying and I remember praying and asking God to hold my baby tightly until I can can meet it, if it was to not make it on the earth.

When it rains..

This post could be about the desperate need that we are in for rain. We are now 13" behind and grass fires are everywhere. Our farmers are really struggling.

No, that was not what this was about. It was in response to life these days. First of all, thank you all for the kind words, cards , and flowers. It has been uplifting to receive comments from dear high school friends. I would love to know what is up with all of you! I feel well. Actually better than I had. It seems that the fetus was almost poisoning my body and that is why I had been so sick. Who knew? However, today, we received news that Brad's company had made some changes and he was laid off. Can you believe it? He had not been there long and the hospital changed hands. He was being flown in to Chicago every week. The new CIO decided to cut costs and that was one to be cut. So, here we go again. I told my mom I can't even heal from one episode without another one beginning. I feel like a diamond being beat until I shine. So, continue to pray for my health and now for Brad's job. This is unreal!

So the real thought for the post: when it rains it pours!

Done

Well, I had the D & C done today. I was very worried about it because I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia last time so I was worried this time. It was an easy process. I am feeling well tonight. I have not taken any medicine for pain. I imagine I will take Tylenol tonight but I should be doing well tomorrow. Thank you all for your prayers and kind words! They have made this easier. I should get the results from the genetic testing in a few weeks. I am in awe of the strength that the Lord has given me. It still saddens me but I will move on. Perhaps on March 19Th, I will have to grieve a little more since that was the baby's due date. If we ever endure the chances of getting pregnant, I pray that the outcome is better. My heart aches for those that have endured this more than once. I do not know how they do it!

His Will

There are times in our christian walks where we do not understand how things work. I feel it is these times that we learn our greatest lessons about being a TRUE follower of God. It is so easy to have faith when things are going well. It is usually in these times that we forget to thank Him for all he does. However, it is in the depths that we realize we are lost without Him. It is in the depths that we learn what faith is really about. It is during these times that we realize that we are not put on this Earth for our glory, but for the Lord's glory.

We heard the news we had hoped not to hear today. We had a miscarriage. There was still not a heartbeat and our tiny baby had not grown any. This was difficult to hear and comprehend. Sure, the intellectual part of me knows that this is much easier than having a child with severe disabilities. I have worked with those kids and their life is so hard. I know that it is God's will but it is still the hardest thing I have had to endure. I will never hear this babies cry. I will never get to see their personality shine. I will never hear them laugh. But one thing I know is that that baby is in the best place it could ever be! I look forward to the day we can finally meet it! I know it will be a joyous day for us.

I will have a D & C on Monday. That will finalize this ordeal. We have talked with our insurance and they will pay for the genetic testing to see if there is something we should be aware of for the future. At this point, we do not know what our future plans will be. The pain is too current and the emotions are too involved. Please pray that the procedure goes well and we can move on with our lives, ever grateful for the vibrant young boy we were blessed with 5 years ago!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Roman 8:28

The Storm details

Patience and humility. Those are 2 hard words to grasp for me. I consider myself a pretty patient person but could always improve in that area. Humility is such a big concept that is always changing. The more I study scripture the harder this one is. I think it s much more involved than not boasting. I think it is being totally open and helpless before the Lord. I don't think a truly humble person tries to figure God out. I think they just sit back and know that God is in control and this world is not about me!

Well, as I posted in the last post, we are going through such a storm. As many of you know, Brad and I have tried to have a baby for 3 years. While on vacation, we discovered we were pregnant. It seemed like a dream that I would one day wake up from. I was very cautious at first, but then we began re-arranging our house for this new family member. I went to my Dr. appointment on Thurs. Nothing too odd was mentioned. He wanted me to get an ultrasound to discover exactly how far along I was since we would do a repeat C-Section. He told me to do it within the next 2 weeks. They had an opening that afternoon so I decided to go on and do it. Brad was out of town, but we would have a more in depth one later. After a long process, I was told they could not find a heartbeat. This was devastating news for me. The Dr. said he did not want to make any quick decisions. Therefore, I am to have another ultrasound on Thurs.

Many people have asked what to pray for. Here is how we are praying. Despite how hard it is, we want God's will! If it is within God's will, we want this baby Thurs. to be as healthy as possible!! We KNOW that all things are possible with God's help. However, if it is not God's will, we ask that it be obvious the condition of the baby. We do not want to have to make a difficult decision. I would always doubt my choice. Up to this point, we have had no signs of a problem. If this baby is not to survive, I want that physical sign to be present so I do not have to guess. Please keep us in your prayers. Oh, we had not told Todd that we were expecting. We do not want to have to explain this situation to him. It is hard enough for us to explain it to our self, much less a 5 yr. old who has asked when is God going to give us a baby. I will keep you updated when I can.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds," James 1:2
I am not totally here yet, but am praying to get there!

Praise You In This Storm

Casting Crowns are one of my favorite groups. This song has amazing lyrics! At this time, I am going through a storm and this video expresses all of my emotions very well. Please pray for me. I will post the details later.

Todd's First Day of School

Yesterday, Todd went to school for the first day. They do this crazy system, so he is home today. He went a full day yesterday with only half of the kids. He will start officially tomorrow. I was having a really hard time letting him go to school. I really prayed for strength because if he saw me cry, he would get upset. I told him it was a great thing to go to school. I did really well. I was able to be strong in his presence. As I left, I got very misty-eyed. I still maintained it until I got to the car. It is so hard to believe that it is time for him to go to school. My house seemed so quiet and lonely. I had no one to laugh with or make silly jokes with. I know that this is part of growing up, but I have to say it really stinks! I will miss all of our time together. Sure, my house will be cleaner, but it will be much more lonely. When I picked him up yesterday, he came running to me as fast as his leg would go. He had a good day, but was ready to come home. He told my mom, "It is a really long time from the morning to the afternoon!" All afternoon, he was hugging me and telling me he loved me. I am sure he will do well this year, let's just hope I can, too!

Our vacation

I have been so behind on posts. I have had some comments on my lack of posts. So, I will attempt to catch up. In the middle of July, Todd and I flew to Chicago to spend the weekend with Brad. It was a really good deal on our part. Since he is flying every week, we had 1 free ticket. His company also agreed to pay for our hotel stay since they would not be paying his flying costs that week. He stays in a very expensive hotel, so that was a nice treat. While we were there, we did the Brookfield Zoo, which is 216 acres and is AMAZING! We also did the aquarium. That was not a good as the aquarium in Chattanooga. We were disappointed in that. Then, on Sunday, we went to Six Flags. For those of you that do not know, Brad and I are roller coaster fanatics! We would ride coasters all day every day if possible. We were so thrilled to see that Todd has inherited that love from us! He is tall for his age and could actually ride a lot of rides. He could have ridden on called The Demon that had corkscrews and went upside-down several times. We actually did not let him ride that one. We did not want to scare him to where he would never ride again. We are saving that for 6 years old! Anyway, it was such a fun trip. I look forward to going sometime for an adult only trip. There is so much to do there. I am sure we will go back soon! I have attached a few pictures. Oh, I forgot to tell that we were the Grand Marshalls for the parade at Six Flags. That was good because we got Todd's picture with Scooby Doo. That was one of the main reasons we were going to Six Flags. He loves Scooby Doo. He was supposed to be where you could get your picture taken with him, bit he was not showing up. We managed to sweet-talk our way into being in the parade, which guaranteed our picture with Scooby!

Our new toy

Okay, I have to say that we usually do not buy electronic games for fun. We did on Friday. Todd has been wanting a Wii. That is hard to believe since he is only 5 years old. However, we had put it off. We were in a store and discovered that these games are hard to come by. The guy told us when the shipment was coming in and we went and got one. It is so fun! For those of you that don't know, it is a video game you interact with. I have to admit, I played so much tennis and boxing yesterday, that my elbow is sore. We have had a blast with it. Todd loves it and it is a great way to get out energy when the weather is not appropriate for outside play. Now it will be silly purchases for us for another 10 years. You have to have fun every now and then and do something crazy!

Hard to believe

I know I have been away from blogging in a while. I have been very busy. I hope to catch up in the next few days. We went to Chicago this past weekend and hope to post pictures soon! In the mean time, I cannot believe that Todd starts school on August 1st! That is so fast. I actually purchased his supplies last night. I ask that you pray for him and his teacher. We actually go to church with her. She seems like she would be a great teacher but she will be out on maternity leave this year. That will be some transition to deal with. I am sure he will do well! I will update you on more happenings soon!

Where to begin?

It has been almost 1 month since I updated my blog. There has been so much that I really do not even know where to begin. I guess I will go in chronological order not order of importance. I will report on our VBS. Some of you have asked and here is the run-down. It turned out great!!! We had 92 kids and just over half were visitors. Many of the visitors do not attend church anywhere so it was truly an outreach! The kids had a good time and the church members were able to spend some time socializing with the community parents. We had rented an inflatable slip n dip for the kids to use in an activity and kept it for several hours after VBS. We did not let parents know that the kids would be able to slide after VBS so that they would be there to supervise their own kids and so we could spend some time in a non-threatening environment to get to know them. It was a lot of fun. For future reference kids love the water theme. It attracted swarms of people! We even had a man that had been considering baptism say that his son's excitement lead him to make that decision. Talk about the power of God. Thank you all for your prayers. Brad and I were absolutely exhausted after we were done, but it was during that phase that we were really able to allow Christ to do His work.

VBS

Well, I have very few days until VBS will be here. Brad and I are VBS coordinators this year. WOW, what a job. I decided the curriculum, designed the set and the decorations, decided on the crafts and activities and order all of the supplies, and I wrote all of the scripts. I am EXHAUSTED! When we decided to do this, Brad was not in Chicago all week and I was only keeping a little girl one day a week. Now, Brad is gone and I am keeping here 3 days. I will not give any information about her but, please remember her and her mom in your prayers. The dad has left them and it is a very difficult situation!

Back to VBS, I really enjoy the creative side, but not the leadership side. I am not a leader mentality. Brad tells me I am better than I give myself credit for, but I feel terrible. I feel so bossy. I would much rather be a worker than leader. We are having a water park theme. I think it will be a lot of fun. We did manage to rent a 30' inflatable water slide for the K-6th graders. Please pray that the VBS is a success and that we reach those that need to be reached. Please pray that we have enough supplies and workers. I will give you an update after it is over.

10 Things You May Not Know

Becky wrote this list on her blog and said she would like for other people to do the same. So, Becky, here are 10 things many people may not know about me.

1). I would ride roller coasters for a living if I had a chance.
2). I am afraid of snakes!
3). I love middle school age kids (I've been told I am crazy for this).
4). My husband and my sister-in-law grew up in the same church and knew each other far before they knew us.
5). I have recently lost over 30 lbs and am still losing more!
6). I would love to be a hearing impaired interpreter.
7). I did not go to my senior banquet (christian school and did not have proms) because the guy I was going with was highly intoxicated. I did not want to go alone, so I chose not to go at all. I regret that I did not go alone to this day.
8). I would love to be a college professor some day,
9). I tutored famous country music star's children and went to their homes.
10). I was dating 2 guys at one time when I was a Harding. One was in Alabama and one became my husband. The other guy kept trying to come and visit and I talked him out of it because he had financial difficulties. It was really because I liked Brad much more and I did not want to break-up with the other guy over the phone.

There you have it!

It starts early

We have a friend with a nice above ground pool. Todd and I have gone over there the past 2 Monday's for play group. The kids have gotten in the pool. Todd is very outgoing most of the time but when it comes to water, he is cautious. The first week he had on a life jacket, arm floats, and a ring float around his waist to sit on the steps. No, that was not my suggestion, but he wanted to be safe. This week, I had bought him a life jacket in hopes that he would go out into the water. Well, he literally stayed on the deck the entire time. He threw toys in the pool to the other kids. I tried to convince him to go in but he would not do it. I gave up and went to the screened-in porch to watch. One by one, the kids got out of the pool to move on to something else. Todd was on the steps gathering the toys he had thrown in the water. I went to walk to the other side of the pool to reach things on that side. I looked up and he was half-way around the pool. I did not say a word. I watched as he slowly released his hand from the side of the pool to test and see if he was going to float. All of a sudden, he began kicking his feet and splashing his hands. Finally, he said, "Mommy, look I can swim. You were right!" He was so proud. He wanted to play for a minute more and then he began to try and dive for things on the bottom. We still will need to work on that. After he was done, I asked him why did he wait till everyone was done before he would try. He told me he had to "get brave". He did not know if he could do it. I quickly realized he was afraid of failure. What, he is almost 5 and he already would rather not try than to fail. He missed all of the fun because he was afraid for them to see him not be able to do it. Don't we all do that? I know I do it in all areas of life, even spiritual. I hope that he will feel comfortable enough around his church family and actual family to try things and turn to others when he needs help from drowning.