It starts early

We have a friend with a nice above ground pool. Todd and I have gone over there the past 2 Monday's for play group. The kids have gotten in the pool. Todd is very outgoing most of the time but when it comes to water, he is cautious. The first week he had on a life jacket, arm floats, and a ring float around his waist to sit on the steps. No, that was not my suggestion, but he wanted to be safe. This week, I had bought him a life jacket in hopes that he would go out into the water. Well, he literally stayed on the deck the entire time. He threw toys in the pool to the other kids. I tried to convince him to go in but he would not do it. I gave up and went to the screened-in porch to watch. One by one, the kids got out of the pool to move on to something else. Todd was on the steps gathering the toys he had thrown in the water. I went to walk to the other side of the pool to reach things on that side. I looked up and he was half-way around the pool. I did not say a word. I watched as he slowly released his hand from the side of the pool to test and see if he was going to float. All of a sudden, he began kicking his feet and splashing his hands. Finally, he said, "Mommy, look I can swim. You were right!" He was so proud. He wanted to play for a minute more and then he began to try and dive for things on the bottom. We still will need to work on that. After he was done, I asked him why did he wait till everyone was done before he would try. He told me he had to "get brave". He did not know if he could do it. I quickly realized he was afraid of failure. What, he is almost 5 and he already would rather not try than to fail. He missed all of the fun because he was afraid for them to see him not be able to do it. Don't we all do that? I know I do it in all areas of life, even spiritual. I hope that he will feel comfortable enough around his church family and actual family to try things and turn to others when he needs help from drowning.