I have endured many challenging circumstances in my life. Many of these times, I questioned God. I felt like I was being punished. Almost all of these times, I saw later that it was a blessing. I will give you a few examples:
- Brad and I losing our job in Oklahoma with a 2 month old baby: At the time, we were very angry. This is a time in my life I was most angry at God. I did not understand. After all, I had to live with my parents for many months. Now, I see it as a HUGE blessing. One, we were able to move closer to my family, which allowed Todd to be very close to my parents. Two, we were able to make a lot more money. Finally and most importantly, in the long run, we developed a much stronger faith in God!
- Brad getting a job in Chicago: This really stunk at the time. He was gone 4 nights a week. When he was home, he was working on next week's stuff and we had to pay major money because he was self-employed. However, it only lasted 4 months and now he is in a field he loves and makes good money. This opportunity totally changed his career path into something he loves.
- Difficulty getting pregnant: This was hard. I doubted myself in this one. I thought that I was unable to have another child because of my inability to parent. Now, I see that it was in His timing. I realize now that Todd was a difficult 2 year old and needed all of my time and energy to discipline.
- Finally, losing a baby after so many years of trying: This was hard for me to even type. I do have to say that because of some of these other events, I did not struggle with this one like I would have thought. Don't get me wrong, I was caught saying things like, "He must love watching me suffer!" I had found peace with it but still hurt until I took my current job. After teaching children with severe disabilities, I realize that God spared me. He gave me the easy way out. He allowed me to not have to suffer over a child with severe problems.
OK, that was long and wordy! Sorry. Thanks, Tamara for having me think on this. I will tag a few people. I tag Tracy, Franklin, Jeni, and Becky.
2 comments:
how difficult to come up with only 6 words. yours is great. IF i can think of one, i'll post it. that's a big if.
That was a good one!! And you are right - it is so difficult to see the bigger picture sometimes and to simply trust. I thought this was a great little exercise and really makes you think about your life.
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