A smile means so much

This picture is blurry because our camera batteries were dying but it was a moment that couldn't wait on new batteries. Brad had been working for days to get Luke to smile at him. He had been smiling at me for a while and would not crack even a grin at Brad. He would talk and talk to him each evening in hopes to get a smile. Well, 2 nights ago, Brad was talking and this is what Luke did in response. He smiled many more times and has done it since easily. I grabbed the camera and snapped that first smile.

This story got me thinking about my heavenly father. He works and works on me to get me to pay attention and take delight in him. He doesn't give up! He tries everything he can think of to get me to look and take joy in him. Then, when I finally lock into him, I can't help but smile. And His response is joy beyond description.

I also love the way Brad's hand is holding his head. It reminds me of my father holding me. Brad's hand is huge compared to his head and it is protecting him from harm (like basketballs being shot on the goal in the house). Not only does my father want my attention, but he is holding me up trying to protect me while I gaze upon his face.

I came across this scripture:

"The LORD makes firm the steps

of the one who delights in him;

though he may stumble, he will not fall,

for the LORD upholds him with his hand. "Psalm 37:23-24

Wow. What powerful words. He holds me even when I stumble. Thank you, Lord because I stumble a lot!

And then there were 3..

So, it is no secret that we had planned on only having 2 children. We had always said when you get 3 kids you are outnumbered and can no longer play one-on-one. Well, God had other plans for our lives. He decided to bless us with Luke. He is a blessing and don't think otherwise. However, I had no idea how difficult going to 3 children really would be. Some days, I find myself coming and going. With Luke and Jackson being only 27 months apart (another problem), it is very difficult. Then, throw in an 8 year old that has homework and sports schedules and you get one tired momma! I love them so much and cannot imagine my life without them, but this has been difficult. I feel like someone is always getting ignored. Poor Luke has cried more than either of the other 2 boys because I am bust taking care of something else. I know things will calm down soon. Until then, I go to sleep the minute my head hits the pillow at nights and during the day if I get a chance. (Kristin, I can't imagine life with 4 kids and homeschooling. God bless you!)

But then, I look at this and I smile and thank God for the blessings and the wisdom to do it His way!

You've got to be kidding

So, today I confirmed what I had been feeling.. Luke has allergy issues too. I thought this was coming because his sleeping habits have started to become like Jackson's, aka not sleeping without being held upright all night. Today I took him to the doctor and he said that we would treat him for acid reflux. He also confirmed that there was microscopic blood in his stool so there is an allergy. I am nursing, though it is not my favorite thing to be doing, so I am going to have to try to cut out dairy. Okay, that is difficult for me. I love cheese. Cheese makes EVERYTHING better. I am giving it a try. I am thinking it will help me lose weight b/c nothing will taste as good. I am also giving it a try b/c if it doesn't work, we will have to go to the expensive formula again. I really don't want to do that. I am asking for you to pray for us. Pray that my poor baby gets some relief and that I can do this no dairy thing.

Sleep

I am beginning to think that I will never get a normal amount of sleep again! As most of you know, Jackson is a terrible sleep and now you add nursing a newborn to the mix and that equals feeling like a zombie at all times.

Speaking of the nursing bit, this is the first time I have been able to truly nurse a baby. I pumped some with the other boys but that was it. By 4 weeks, I had quit with both. Let me just say, this is how I felt yesterday!
I mean seriously, all I did was nurse Luke all day long. He was eating every 2 hours during the day and it takes him about 30-40 minutes to eat. By the time he got done, it was almost time to start again. I am starting to think I am not a good nursing mom. Anyway, I will quit complaining and go do something in the couple of minutes I have free!