There are times in our christian walks where we do not understand how things work. I feel it is these times that we learn our greatest lessons about being a TRUE follower of God. It is so easy to have faith when things are going well. It is usually in these times that we forget to thank Him for all he does. However, it is in the depths that we realize we are lost without Him. It is in the depths that we learn what faith is really about. It is during these times that we realize that we are not put on this Earth for our glory, but for the Lord's glory.
We heard the news we had hoped not to hear today. We had a miscarriage. There was still not a heartbeat and our tiny baby had not grown any. This was difficult to hear and comprehend. Sure, the intellectual part of me knows that this is much easier than having a child with severe disabilities. I have worked with those kids and their life is so hard. I know that it is God's will but it is still the hardest thing I have had to endure. I will never hear this babies cry. I will never get to see their personality shine. I will never hear them laugh. But one thing I know is that that baby is in the best place it could ever be! I look forward to the day we can finally meet it! I know it will be a joyous day for us.
I will have a D & C on Monday. That will finalize this ordeal. We have talked with our insurance and they will pay for the genetic testing to see if there is something we should be aware of for the future. At this point, we do not know what our future plans will be. The pain is too current and the emotions are too involved. Please pray that the procedure goes well and we can move on with our lives, ever grateful for the vibrant young boy we were blessed with 5 years ago!
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Roman 8:28
4 comments:
Wow, that takes courage to say and deep faith to believe, which I know you have wholeheartedly! We have ached with you and prayed for you all week. We pray the Lord's blessings on you as you say
goodbye to this baby and try to discern His will for your future. What an outstanding example you have been to all of us of true faith and joy in times of trial. Thank you.
carrie- i can't begin to imagine the difficult emotions you must struggle through at this time. you were in my prayers and will continue to be now as you grieve. may God wrap his arms tightly around you and your entire family and provide comfort that is more than we could ask or imagine.
I'm so sorry, Carrie. I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
carrie- you may have heard of a group called "watermark." i found them when i lost my dad in March of 2006. One of my best friends had a miscarriage a week after my dad died and God led me to watermark's music for both situations. you may want to listen to their song "glory baby." your little one is hearing heaven's lullabies. may God continue to cover you with his love and peace - it is amazing how he strengthens us when we are at our weakest.
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